Cousin time! Unfortunately we’ve got a baby flare on the go but I’m still going to have a good weekend so there

Actually, I don’t know the answer, but I can speculate. Does anybody else feel like when they are really, really tired for any reason that they get more asthma symptoms? I do. When I was younger, my mom would always hate to let me go on sleepovers because the next day would invariably be rough. She noticed this pattern way before I did

I don’t know that being tired actually causes asthma symptoms, maybe it’s just that my body and mind are less strong and can’t cope with the asthma that’s always there anyway? There’s really nothing about fatigue that should be an asthma trigger in and of itself. I don’t know, but it always feels like more work to breathe when I’m tired.

Anyway, all this to say that I myself am very very tired. A funeral followed by a few very late family party nights, followed by late nights trying to catch up in school and studying my butt off during the day means that I’m nearly burnt-out. I finally got the message yesterday when I tried to go running but couldn’t keep going, came home, crashed and fell asleep on my bed in my running clothes. I slept for 2 and a half hours. Asthma-wise, I’ve been “feeling it” much more this week. Although, this morning my mind, body and lungs feel refreshed. I guess I just needed a long nap!

So, I’m interested. Do you struggle with your asthma as much as I do when you are fatigued? What are your hypotheses on this phenomenon?

I’ve been bouncing around the respiratory clinic for the past week, conferring with my pulmonologist and getting  full PFTs and simple bloods done. I also checked in with my gp this week. And the concensus is: it would be best for my asthma control if I had full control of my prednisone usage. In other words, I get a nice fat supply of steroids and decide when I need them.

Woah. This is different. In the past, I have had one course on hand to use in a pinch, like if I was travelling or something. The conditions are that I have to see my pulmo regularly (which I already do) and tell him exactly how I’m adjusting my treatment. The plan here is to sidestep the germy walk-in clinic and hopefully avoid emerg altogether. In case you didn’t know: I’m NOT on prednisone longterm, but I have an exacerbation every 1-2 months that requires treatment with oral steroids. For the past couple years I have averaged 9-10 courses a year. When I say it like that, it sounds shocking. This is TOO MUCH PREDNISONE and I wish it wasn’t like this but the flares come and avoiding taking it only lands me in the ER. That is not where I like to be.

I am kind of wary, will I know how to use it appropriately? Am I a responsible enough patient to be given full control? My pulmo says yes but I have my doubts. True, I know a lot about asthma and I certainly am used to how my own asthma presents itself. I was teaching the med student in the clinic a thing or 2 today. Poor guy was only second year and was sooo confused about asthma meds.

Here’s hoping I just stay well and won’t have to make too many executive decisions.

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

— Lt.-Col. John McCrae (1872 – 1918)

Well I think that this poem pretty much sums up why we celebrate Rememberance Day. As a teenager, it took me a long time to understand why we would honour anything to do with war, since we are a society that so values pacifism. It’s a day to be grateful to those who fought and lost their lives at a time when the world was in such an atrocious, horrifying condition, and it’s a time to reflect on what we need to do to achieve/maintain peace in this world. Lest we forget.

Are YOU wearing your poppy?

http://www.canadiandesignresource.ca/officialgallery/symbols/remembrance-poppy/

I had some awesome runs with my dad this weekend. I think he might have realized that I didn’t start running because my asthma was cured suddenly, but that I learned to run with my asthma. And I think he was impressed. The first day we went at an easy pace, but on the second day he kept pushing the envelope. Not one to be shown up, I responded. It took me awhile to recover but it really was a good run. It’s nice for someone to push you once in awhile, then you realize that you can do a little more than you thought. Of course, I pushed myself just because he was there too, wanting to appear as the strong one hehehehe.

There were many many wonderful parts of last week, despite the circumstances. Somehow my brain is total mush. Getting back to reality today has been…. odd. But if I just keep swimming everything will be ok.

Just Keep Swimming. A motto that is applicable pretty much at all times…

Hi all, your kindness has been overwhelming. I am very grateful for your messages.

I am in the midst of doing very grown-up things. I suppose it is easier for me as a granddaughter to do these things than it might be for the daughters and sons. I don’t mind, and it makes me feel better somehow.

My dad is landing tomorrow afternoon. I know he is taking this hard and I’m really looking forward to having some time with him, he will stay the whole weekend. (I told him to bring his running shoes because we are definitely going out!)

Hopefully I’ll get some runs in during the week and weekend to clear my mind. I’ll blog and tweet to let you know how it all goes.

Hi all, my grandpa passed away last night in his sleep. It’s funny because I was thinking about him yesterday and I was making plans to see him on Wednesday. Oh, life.

I’m sure this week will be stressful, as these things often are. I’m doing OK and handling it just fine. The silver lining is that my dad will be on his way here within a day or two.

I’m still not breathing well which as you know makes things harder to deal with. I may take  a little blogging hiatus, or who knows maybe I’ll feel like I want to post more. In any case, thank you for your understanding. I’ve got a midterm to write momentarily, wish me luck.

Oh my, having a peek-a-boo around the blogosphere, I see that a few of my fellow asthmatics are also having a rough day. Breathe easier everyone.

The day started out ok but tight-ish. THEN. During my lab today we had  a bit of downtime so I was sitting in the hallway studying. Some girl walks out of the lab, opens her locker, sprays herself with perfume, touches up her makeup and walks back into the lab. Oh man don’t get me started, you’re in a *lab* the E. COLI DON’T CARE IF YOUR MAKEUP IS PERFECT!!! So that was unnecessary. I started to tighten up, fast and quite badly. I was all alone in the hallway and I just kind of sat there with my head on my knees. I wanted to stay there forever and not move. Buuut my cells were going to be ready soon and I still had one last thing to do with them. I asked my lab partner if she would be ok doing the last 2 steps and my TA said it was ok so I sat in the common area for a bit then walked the 3 blocks home. I contemplated going to the clinic (right next door to the lab) and asking for a neb but the clinic is a freaking CESSPOOL right now and the thought of sitting among 40 H1N1-ers didn’t really appeal to me.

Ever since then I’ve been getting better, then worse again, then better then worse. I’ve been studying for my molecular biology midterm which is actually going OK. It’s tomorrow and I think I’m ready. My roommate is a little concerned because she keeps hearing me use my puffer but hey. By the  way, about the asthma thing she is totally cool and I’m really comfortable being open about it. She looks out for me but not in the smothering way so it’s all good.

The only thing is that I want to sleep tonight! Oh please oh please let me sleep tonight! And I wish I had yelled at that girl but didn’t have the guts nor the breath.

We are getting a new roommate today!! We could not be more excited.

To celebrate our slob roomie moving out, we are having a cleaning party. Like MAJOR cleaning. We even emptied all our kitchen drawers to wipe them dowm. Everything looks great. Only thing is, I feel worse now than I did right after my run… now THAT is saying something. It is worth it and necessary though!

The new roommate has a Wii. Hurrah!