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My dad and brother and I are headed off to Quebec city for the week. It’s my last hurrah before school starts. My brother is actually doing a folk music camp there and my dad and I will just hang out and visit with some family. I’m sooo excited! I’m taking my computer but I’m not sure how much I’ll get to update. Have a great week and I’m sure I’ll have lots to say when school starts!
Landed! The appartment is good, I met one roomie and we have lots in common. This morning will entail a trip to IKEA and a few trips over to the appartment. I have to say that I’m relieved that everything is falling into place.
D
It’s an early morning tomorrow to catch my plane back to university town. My dad and brother are coming too and I can’t even tell you how much that helps me. I meet my roomies as soon as I get there and I’m nervous but also excited and optimistic. This summer has been so great.
Asthma-wise, it’s been really sweet. Allergy season hit a little harder than expected but I got through it. I made it four months with only one course of prednisone and NO visits to the ER. Rock on!!
Family-wise, I feel so blessed. People told me I might start to find it harder to come back home for the summers, that my family might start to get on my nerves, but it didn’t happen. My parents are great, they treat me as an adult and respect my decisions yet welcome me back as if nothing has changed. My sister and I had SO many good times together and many giggling fits, many pots of tea. While I was home I watched my brother transform from a smart yet moody and school-despising teen into an interesting, funny and highly innovative young adult. I don’t want to miss what is yet to come, because I know it’ll be good for him.
I’ll miss this place, as I always do. The air is clear and bright and the sky goes on forever. The mountains are there whether you are looking at them out your bedroom window or whether your are out climbing them. The valleys, the rivers, the hills, it’s all home!
I know I’m set up to have a GREAT year. But goodbyes are really really hard.
PS See you on the other side. I don’t know when I will get to update but I will fill you in on the new place!!
Soo, I ended up bringing my mom out for dinner with me, I didn’t feel like driving myself and I thought I might like her there. As far as moms go, she’s pretty cool and my friends didn’t mind so much. And I did manage to smile and converse and be pleasant.
On the car in the way there, I spilled the beans to my mom. As in, I told her honestly how I was feeling. She and I are like a well-oiled asthma machine, she knows when to help me and when to leave me alone with very little communication on my part. I’m lucky. But today I just told her what I actually felt like, which is something I just don’t do in a conversation. I said “I can’t believe how out of breath I am today. Mom, I felt like I had run a marathon after I straightened my hair this morning”. She said she could tell I was bad but had no idea about all the little stuff that goes on. Somehow, although you may not see why, it was a huge deal for me to say that to my mom. I don’t want her to have to think about that, I feel bad when I see I’ve made her feel bad. And I hate the way I sound when I say that kind of stuff, like some pitiable child who thinks they are oh-so-unlucky. I don’t think that. But it was nice to communicate and be honest with my maman today for once. It felt pretty normal at the time.
This cold has me in a full-on iron grip. Ie, I can’t even straighten my hair without getting out of breath. I’m a little concerned as to what to do, especially as I have yet to pack and I have to fly in 2 days. Oh well, for now, I am going to go out to dinner with friends I haven’t seen all summer. With Tylenol and Ventolin, do you think I can smile through it? I sure hope so 
Lol, I still get the newsletter from the pediatric asthma service. At least someone still thinks I’m a kid! Do you think if I showed up for an appointment, they would give it to me?
The newsletter brought to my attention a Run for Asthma event in October. It’s the 16th annual but I had no idea it was even a thing. Of course I’ll be gone to school but I’m going to see if I can get my dad to participate. He’s one of those crazy avid runners so I think he’ll do it. I would walk it if I were here, that would be so fun! All proceeds support the asthma clinic I grew up in so it’s a worthy cause.
I caught a cold. Grrrr, hope I get through it unscathed. This means I probably won’t be going on our canoe trip today.
In other news, I am leaving home on Friday. Yikes, that seems way too soon, does anybody else feel like the summer went by way too quickly? I hope my cold clears up by then because flying with popping ears and a bad chest can be hellish. My dad and brother are coming with me to help me move my stuff into the new place, then we’re going to Quebec city for a few days for some family time. I’m sooo glad that they are coming with me, it makes the transition a whole lot easier. AAAAAAH FRIDAY!
I’ve heard people with chronic health issues say things like “I hate my disease, but given the chance, I don’t know if I’d get rid of it”. So, OK, I get where you’re coming from. I know that hardships help you grow, and make you appreciate life so much more. And I know that living with something like that for a long time can start to define you and become a part of your personality. Yes, yes and yes.
My take on the hypothetical “if you could take it all away…” situation is that my asthma is not the end of the world and I certainly can cope but if my fairy godmother came along, I would say YES! I’m thinking of all the possibilities here. I could get a good night’s sleep every night, I could wake up and feel like an actual human being in the mornings, I could dance and run without having an excuse not to, I wouldn’t have to take (and pay for) so many meds, I could go anywhere without having to run the list of potential triggers through my head. And most of all, there would be none of this life-threatening asthma episode stuff, no more scaring myself and everyone around me. Doesn’t all that seem like a good enough reason?
Of course, I can also appreciate the parts of having asthma that have been good for me. Number 1 is that if I hadn’t known what it’s like, I would never have learned to appreciate being able to run like the wind. Now, when I’m healthy, I’m extra-happy, and my smile shows it. I try to remember everything else about my health that is good, like having full mobility, no muscle or joint pain, no stomach issues, no headaches or neuro problems. Hey, I’m a healthy girl.
The other thing that’s been good, and which I really do appreciate is that I have a pretty good angle on what it’s like to be a patient and that will help me very much in my career. I’ve met a lot of doctors and I know which ones are able to communicate effectively and compassionately and I’m starting to model myself after these people.
So yes, every cloud has a silver lining! But I could still really do without the asthma attacks.
My 2 cents for the day, a little peek into my crazy brain. I’m away for the weekend, have a good one!
Just finished watching So You Think You Can Dance Canada. In case you’re wondering, they’ve narrowed it down to the top 46 and the top 20 will be revealed Sunday.
The reason I’m writing about this is because of a certain competitor that I noticed. At her audition, she mentioned she had lung issues that caused her to have a lot of scar tissue (pulmonary fibrosis?). They didn’t put a whole lot of emphasis on her during the Toronto week, but I noticed that she was still standing at the end of today’s episode. Oh yeah, and her name is also Danielle. I promise, it’s not me : )
Anyway, go dancer Danielle! I’ll be rooting for you and your lungs!
The weather is mediocre so me and my sis are staying in to cook today! Right now I’ve got some yummy challah bread rising and my sister is making chocolate mousse. I’m making a veggie quiche for dinner as well. Hmmm, what else can we make? Any suggestions??
My favourite cookbook of all time is “The Enchanted Broccoli Forest” by Mollie Katzen. It’s all vegetarian and I highly recommend it.
I’ve inexplicably got no voice today! So silly…
EDITED TO ADD PICS: Kerri this is just for you! Enjoy!
