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Did it!!!!
My lungs are tentatively tip-toeing towards normal. I am ashamed to say I have not made any progress with my being-open-about-my-asthma policy, but that just goes to show that I probably had an easier time hiding my breathlessness today at work. My motivation (as if I need any) to get my breathing back to normal is that my dad and I are signed up for a climb in the mountains on Saturday. I’m SO EXCITED! But I need good lungs to go out there. It’s nearly Friday!
I have a big confession to make. I am a total wimp when it comes to actually telling people I have asthma.
Huh? That sort of begs the question of why I have a whole blog about asthma where I freely talk about any asthma issue I feel like. But trust me, in person, it is not so.
This is actually pretty embarassing to admit, because it all seems pretty childish to me. I would love to hear about someone else who has this issue. Most of the people that really know me well know about my asthma, even though not many know how bad it actually is. On the other hand, there are some people I interact with regularly, say at school, work or what have you, that have absolutely no idea. I avoid the subject of asthma in conversation pretty much at all costs. I have. no. idea. why. I just don’t like that kind of attention. I also don’t want other people to have that tidbit of information about me, like maybe it’s a weakness or something. And I hate to make people worry. Really, I should be more mature about it, it doesn’t have to be a big deal at all.
I get nervous when I start to get to know someone, and they start to have opportunities to notice my funky breathing. If someone asks me if I’m ok at any given time (because I can look really off when I’m not breathing) I have a few answers up my sleeve. They are “Yeah, just tired”, “Not too bad, just feeling a little off today” or if I get really brave, I might say “Yes, I am just a little wheezy right now”. And yes, I know I owe it to these poor people to just tell them why I look pale and out of it. But I can’t! I can’t I can’t I can’t.
The reason I’m thinking about this is because of a conversation I had with my mother this morning. I am still feeling pretty awful today and my mom asked me this morning if I was well enough to go to work. She said that I should consider telling at least someone about my asthma and mention that I was not having a good day, so that if I had a real problem someone would know what was going on. (My boss knows but he’s tucked away in his office most of the time and he is not really the person I would want to approach when I’m not feeling well anyway). I protested and said that I didn’t want to and I said that it was a silly idea (even though it was a good idea). And, I didn’t end up mentioning it to a soul. This, despite the fact that I looked like crap, was practically speaking in grunts rather than sentences, and had trouble walking up the stairs.
I think those people at work are beginning to seriously wonder about me. THREE people asked me what my medic alert bracelet was for today. I haven’t had anybody ask me about it in OVER A YEAR. Of course I told the people who asked, of course. But I wasn’t happy about it.
In summary: 1. I have a very childish habit of not telling people I have asthma. 2. I must have looked really terrible today. 3. I don’t think I can hide it from these people any longer, I MUST FESS UP TO MY COLLEAGUES.
Do you think I can do it??
Not feeling good today at all. I have the same symptoms as the last flare/pre-flare. That is, mopiness/indifference, watery eyes and and a foggy brain. And, a tight chest. It started to bug me pretty badly at work, I went out of the lab to use my puffer (no sticking stuff in your mouth amidst the chemicals) and sat in the office area for a bit. Most people were gone for the day so I had some peace and quiet. However one very nice person kept looking at me and asking if I was ok. Of course I just said yes and flashed a big smile. Then I called my mom to see if she could pick me up. I also started out with some hives this morning which is most unusual and I really wonder what’s making me so allergicky. If only I knew I could probably fix this very easily.
It’s so good to have my mom around at times like this, I could almost cry. She’s so sweet and helpful and level-headed. She makes it easier to recognize when I’m having trouble, which is a funny thing. Being sick at home is much much better than being sick all the way across the country.
HEY! A thunderstorm is starting up… maybe this whole weather system is part of the problem? Geez I didn’t notice how angry the sky looked until just now. ANYWHO…
A few months ago I signed up for wearebreathless.org. Madam Kerri got me into it, It really reminds me of facebook, but for people living with any kind of lung disease. It’s pretty neat, but at first I felt like I didn’t have any extra time to spend on the internet, what with school and all. Now that it’s summer however, I hope I won’t neglect it! And if you are so inclined to join, then look for me, my username is Danielle.
As promised, here is a picture of last weekend’s hike. I’m the one in the green shorts, my sister is the one sitting down.
It was pretty windy at the summit!!
I learned today that I will be getting authorship on the paper that will come out on my research project!! Of course it’s totally appropriate because I am doing all of the lab work and a good deal of the analysis, but I just can’t believe I’m going to be a published researcher at 19! Eeeeeeeeeee!
So. I am nearly out of Singulair, a visit to my friendly family doctor is in order. She is a big fan of preventative medicine and thus the yearly physical. I am in often to see her for asthma stuff, and whenever it’s been close to a year since my last one she starts to nag me. I knew that if I just booked a regular appointment to get my refills she would ask me to return for a full physical in a couple of weeks. And since she only gives me so much medication at a time, there’s no way for me to disappear for months and months. Soooo, as soon as I got home from university I bit the bullet and called to book a physical, which will be happening tomorrow. I’m sure that’s exactly what she aims for. But I’m not happy about it.
4 PM : Grumpy, mopey
6 PM : Watery eyes
7 PM : Itchy throat, dry cough
1:30 AM : flaaaare!
I recognized it early on and took appropriate measures before bed. I would like to think it lessened the blow. Even though almost every surface outside is covered in ice crystals this morning, my mom decided to put all her potting plants that had been on the floor of the family room outside. We suspect they were the culprit. Poor plants!
Since returning to my home province, I certainly seem to have a renewed hunger for being active outdoors. If you knew how much of a natural playground this place was, you probably would too! I will post pictures later from my awesome hike today.
We all know that exercise-induced asthma can be tricky. The quality of the air we breathe as we exercise can make a huge difference. So, while it’s fantastic to want to enjoy the great outdoors, there are days when it’s just better to hit the gym instead. Be extra careful when heading out on these types of days:
-Days with a high pollen count if pollen is a trigger for you. A pretty good pollen forecast can be found for most Canadian cities on The Weather Network’s website.
-Days when the air is particularly cold and dry. Obviously -40 C weather is a huuuge no-no. But, I find that even more subtly cold temperatures (even 5-7 C) really affect my breathing. IF you are heading out skiing or something like that and you know it will be cold, be sure to wear a scarf or neckwarmer around your mouth and nose to warm up the air before it reaches your airways.
-Days when the humidity is really high, especially if it’s also hot. This means pretty much the whole summer in Ontario and Quebec. Does anyone know why it’s so hard to breathe when it’s humid outside? I find I have trouble even walking in this type of weather, so I would never try anything strenuous.
-Days when the air quality is particularly low and there is a lot of smog. This can trigger asthma if you’re exercising outdoors and you may not even notice it until later. Again, check out The Weather Network’s air quality forecast if you live in Canada. If you are getting out of the city, you likely won’t have to worry about this one!
-Windy days. I guess the wind must carry a lot of allergens with it, that’s the only explanation I can think of for why my asthma is so bad when it gets windy!
These are mostly based on my personal experience, and everyone has different triggers! Not all of these might trigger your asthma, but it’s always good to be cautious with respect to air quality when you are exercise. Also, this list may seem prohibitive, but there ARE good days in between, I promise! Happy trails!
EDIT: Please check out Kerri’s comment on this post for even more information on how to assess the air quality!
